Chaos and the meaning of life

As I continue working on a collection of short stories, I have noticed a common theme among most of them. I appear to enjoy throwing my characters’ lives into chaos. Of course, any good story presents conflict or obstacles. In reviewing my stories, however, there is rarely have a human antagonist (though some humans are conduits). My antagonists are almost always something beyond a human: the universe, the reality of life, God, Satan, whatever. This is true regardless of the genre in which I am writing. As I considered this, two thoughts came to mind.

First, I should try to write some stories with normal, human protagonists just to stretch myself. Second, though, and perhaps more important, is that I should examine this penchant in more detail in order to become more creative with it. A first idea that came to mind was that I am playing with Chaos Theory. This is true in part.

Chaos Theory is an older theory of mathematics which purports that some complex systems are not predictable because one small change to even the tiniest element can result in radically different outcomes. For example, the truth of this theory can be seen in weather predictions. Even with computer modeling, accuracy is only good for a short period into the future. Beyond that, the number of variables and the effect of even a tiny variable can product, over time, momentous changes. This is sometimes called the “butterfly effect,” suggesting that even the flapping of a butterfly’s wings could have an effect, which, by effecting something else, that effects something else, so on and son on, would result in drastic changes.

In truth, Chaos Theory is not suggesting that chaos reigns; only that it appears as chaos. Later theorists believed that it should theoretically be possible to predict if one could monitor every element, even minute ones. Perhaps computers and sensors can someday do this is some areas. The three-body problem is a fascinating application of this theory (and the basis for an innovative novel by Cixin Liu. (An interesting field of study involves the connection between Chaos Theory and quantum mechanics or physics—the study of the wave reality of subatomic particles. I should look into this.)

As you can see, then, being a human in a complex society in a complex universe with a phenomenal number of variables (large and minute), would make predictability almost impossible. But my use of these ideas in narrative go beyond mere mechanical chaos. There are a few characteristics of my view, shaped, I am sure, by my experience and my education.

• The reality of being human and living a life is not quantifiable or predictable: we are not in control of much at all.
• We desire quantifiability and predictability so much that we believe if we work and think well enough, we can be in control of most of our life.
• Obstacles, loss, suffering, lack of control, unfairness cause us great consternation—especially if they seem to be random (chaos).

This all then leads me to want to play around with characters who come face-to-face with this unreliability of human existence, especially if it can be so confusing and unfair that it pushes them to the limits. My interest in this is not sadistic or love of dark themes, but something far more helpful (I hope). By exploring what a human does with faced with the reality that they are not in control, or that they have no idea how to live, or that serious injustice can occur in good lives, I hope to help my readers find some comfort. Not firm and solid answers to the meaning of life because I think that would destroy the whole theory.

Maybe a reader will find some answer to his purpose in the world beyond the futile attempt to impose order. Maybe a reader can see some things in a new way when it happens to a fictional character instead of her. Or maybe a reader will simply not feel so alone, knowing that others have struggled with the same issue. I don’t think it’s my job to lead the reader to answers I believe in. That’s their own journey, in which I hope to be some help along the way.

Some readers have told me they were so comforted by one of my novels because it helped them articulate what they were feeling. Others said it helped them adopt a philosophical approach to life that accepted chaos and lack of control. Still others said it renewed or introduced them to religious faith as a way to both understand the meaning of life and accept the lack of control a single human has. Of course, some have said the stories depressed them because it seemed like there was no answer. To which I respond, “It may be that my works are note good enough or suited enough to resonate with you. But it could also be that, later in life, you may find what I am doing compelling—because none of us have any idea when and where chaos will come into our life.”

So, back to writing about the chaos that comes while we pursue good, happy, and meaningful lives